Anastasia's Shades
by MidnightSteele
Summary: *AU* Ana's parents died in a car crash when she was 16. Her 18 year old brother then puts his life on hold to look after Anastasia. Trying to cope with their death and keeping a relationship with her brother isn't easy but, she is just getting by. How will the infamous Christian Grey play into Ana's life? HIATUS
1. Starting Over

Chapter 1 - Starting Over

Ana's POV

_I am turned upside down opening my eyes when I am suddenly aware of someone pulling me from the car. "Ana, Get out!" I am able to crawl through the broken glass and get through the now bent window frame. After hurriedly carrying me away from the car and setting me down on the pavement. I jump from the spot on the ground launching myself towards the car in effort to get my parents out of the car. "Ana!" I am pulled back by my brother when the car goes up in flames. I am screaming for him to let me go "Ana, I tried. I tried, their seatbelts were stuck. I knew I had to get you out." He wraps me up in his arms while I sob "Alex" I say through sobs "Shhh, it's going to be okay. I promise Annie"_

* * *

Two years and, cars still scare the living shit out of me and putting on a seatbelt almost gives me a panic attack. When am I going to get over this? I'm looking out the plane window almost trembling in fear of what kind of accident could happen in this thing. I left my home, brother, friends, and any other family I had left to come to Seattle. College, yet another thing I kept my brother from doing.

I left what was left of the life and came here to start over. There were too many memories in that town and I couldn't get out fast enough. Do I regret it? I regret putting my brother life on hold.

He was 18, about to go off and see the world with his friends before he went to college. Instead, he was stuck with a part-time job and he stayed so I didn't get put into foster care. I owe him everything, he literally saved my life.

So, when I turned 18, I told him I needed to leave and that he didn't need to take care of me anymore. He was doing it for two years; I wasn't going to make him do it any longer.

I got accepted into Seattle Art Institute and it was my dream to get out of that tiny town. I also always really wanted to have a career in fashion. When I told my parents I wanted to design clothes, they were nothing but supportive.

So, here I am at Sea-Tac after leaving the little town of Sedona. Granted that it had some amazing views and I did have some good memories in that town, I couldn't stay. I don't really know how to explain it but I guess it just didn't feel like it was my home anymore.

I am determined to make this place my home and try to be happy. I don't think I have been truly happy since my parent's death. They already have me on some medication after my failed attempts to end my life.

Depression, they think I had it before their death but, after the accident it was magnified. I know it's not an excuse for being stupid but, I just felt like I didn't deserve to live. I should have died in that car crash and I would have if I would have worn my seatbelt.

That was the thought that I always had on my mind, what if I would have listened? We were being defiant at such a simple task. We just simply refused to wear them and she always got mad. I don't even know why we did it but, now it seems so stupid. I guess it's one of those things you regret when you're older. I know it most cases they save your life but, I guess we were a special case.

After the car crash they were airlifted to Phoenix for medical treatment. At that time everybody knew it was pointless though, they were barely alive and by the time they landed there was nothing they could do.

The funeral was the worst, it was a beautiful ceremony but, who wants to be at a service to mourn your parents death? Having to accept the fact that, you are never going to see them again. It was the worst thought I could ever imagine.

Alex was able to cope better than me; he used writing as a coping mechanism. I resorted to drugs, alcohol and, partying. I know I was wrong and I am past that stage in my life. It took a lot of help to get to where I am today but, I got there.

It started with the partying; it was a few days after the funeral. I just need to escape so, it started with one party. Of course, there was alcohol at the party. I started drinking and it made me feel less empty. I hated feeling empty so, I drank more. I kept going to any party there was and, I drank. I don't know how many times Alex tried to stop me or how many times I saw disappointment in his eyes.

After about a month of partying, the alcohol just wasn't enough anymore so when I saw some people smoking a joint I started with weed. After a week of being high almost 24/7, Alex had had enough. He wouldn't let me out of the house.

The empty feeling came again and I didn't know how to make it subside. I took enough Tylenol to cure a headache for an elephant. Alex found me in the bathroom and called 911, apparently he stuck his finger down my throat to save me once again.

After being at the hospital in Phoenix for a couple of days, under suicide watch they released me into Alex's care. He took me to a shrink who prescribed some anti-depressants. After about 3 months with the shrink I started getting my life on track. Alex helped a lot through the process; he was one of my reasons not to do it again. I didn't want to hurt him again; I didn't want to leave him alone.


	2. Two Week's In

Chapter 2 - Two Week's In

Ana's POV

_"You can't keep living like this Annie." Alex tells me sitting in the chair next to the hospital bed. I don't respond but, let his words sink in. He doesn't want to see me like this and I don't want to be this way. "I'm trying Alex, I just don't know anymore." He frowns "Know what?" I feel the tears well up in my eyes "How do you go on living without them?" I see the hurt and lost look in his eyes "I think about what they would have wanted." I sob and he gets up off the chair and sits on the edge of my bed. I sit up and hug him wanting to feel some sort of comfort. He wraps his arms around me and we sit there until my tears fade away. He lets go of me and looks me in the eyes "We are going to get through this Annie, I promise."_

* * *

Two weeks in Seattle and I am starting to miss him already, he is the only family I have left. I'm happy that he is finally being able to live his life though. I found my home here in Seattle and he decided to use some of the inheritance he had saved to travel for a bit before he works on his new book. It's not like we had much money left for us, we were just a middle class family but, we were able to use it smartly.

I already found a furnished apartment in Seattle and I got a part-time job. It's not anything fancy but, it is going to have to work until I graduate. I have been able to manage school and work well together. I am doing well in my classes and I have been able to do some new designs.

One of my teachers have been letting me use their studio to make my designs come to life. Mrs. Kavanagh is a designer herself and has a studio downtown where she creates and sells some of her clothes. She also uses the store to sell students work to and they get some of the profits. It's a good deal to be able to get some of you designs out there.

I have been able to take full advantage of the opportunities that this city is offering me. I would never be able to achieve my dreams in Sedona. This is like a dream come true and I don't want to wake up. I have been making myself busy and it helps. I am able to get a lot accomplished and it takes my mind of things.

I haven't been able to find a therapist yet and frankly I can't really afford one. My medication is now under a regular physician for the time being. I had to have all that stuff transferred over when I moved. It is a little expensive with my shitty health insurance but, I have been able to make it by.

I have more of my inheritance left than my brother. He used most of his to keep us afloat for those couple of years, another thing I regret. I know it was necessary considering I wasn't able to access mine anyway until I turned 18. I could really care less about the money they left us though.

I do have personal items that they left me. I have my mom's rings on a chain that I always wear around my neck. It has her wedding ring which is a fairly simple ring considering my dad didn't have the most money when they married. Her anniversary ring, it's a tiny and thin band with 15 small diamonds around it. There is also a ring with Alex and I's birth stones. I don't think I have taken this thing off my neck since I put it on although; I fiddle with the rings often. I also have this silver semi rusted necklace that has an angel on it, my mom had this thing for angels. I'm not a religious person but, it is something I like to remember her by. I also have the scrapbooks and a tub of photos that were taken through our lives. I do have one photo that stands out; it is in a small photo frame with a picture of all of us. It was taken a couple of weeks before the accident and it's the last picture of all of us.

I haven't really been anywhere but my apartment a school yet. I didn't really plan to go anywhere either. I have made some acquaintances at school; I wouldn't exactly call them friends. I have a hard time making friends actually, it sounds stupid I know.

When I was a teenager the friends I had were the greatest until my parent's death that is. When they died everyone treated me like I was broken and I may have been but, it's one thing to be it and another thing for people to treat you like it. So, after I did stray into the wrong crowd they really thought I was broken. I was broken though and there wasn't anything anyone could at the time. Nobody knew how to help me even Alex had a hard time. It took him months to get me on the right track.

I am thankful everyday that I got my shit together. I needed a wakeup call and I got it. I know I didn't appreciate life before but, I accept it now. I am grateful for life, I like to think I lived for a reason.


	3. Wanted

Chapter 3 - Wanted

Ana's POV

_I come home after the party a stumble into the house around 3a.m. When I walk into the door Alex is sitting on the stairs with his head in his hands. He looks up once I shut the door, a myriad of emotions flash across his face. Disappointed, angry, worried and, his eyes have dark circles under them. "Annie, where have you been?" "Out" I say trying not to slur and failing. "Have you been drinking?" "Why do you care?" "Let's call it curiosity." I slur again "Curiosity killed the cat" "What the hell are you thinking?" "I don't want to think." He frowns and I continue stammering "I'm not going to feel it anymore. I'm not going to think anymore." I walk off to my bedroom "Annie!" he calls after me "Just leave me alone!" I yell and slam my door. I throw my jacket and purse on the nearby chair then fall onto my bed needing sleep. I don't bother with the comforter and just curl up with my pillow letting sleep take over._

* * *

I lay in bed staring at the ceiling not able to fall back asleep. How did I let it get that bad? He was trying to help me and I just turned away. I throw the blanket off of me and get out of bed. I walk into the kitchen and make a cup of tea knowing I won't be able to go back to sleep. It's still dark outside but, the street lights are giving off enough light to fill the room.

After putting on the kettle I lean with my back against the counter and stare blankly out the window letting my memories wash over yet again.

_"Ana" someone is shaking me "Ana!" they say louder. I blink my eyes open being blinded from the light and see Alex peering over me. "Welcome to the land of the living. Get your ass out of bed now before I go and get a glass of water and dump it over your ass." I scowl "What the fuck is your problem, get out." _

_He stands and throws a baggy at me "What the fuck is this?" he says. I look at the baggy to see the weed I got from some kids at the party last night. "Why the hell are you going through my shit?" I yell back at him despite my pounding head. "I'm trying to help you, why can't you see that?" _

_I walk past him and grab some jeans and a sweater along with my coat and purse. "Where do you think you're going?" he says when I walk out of my room heading towards the bathroom. "I'm changing then I'm going to hang out with some friends" "Ana! This need to stop! Why can't you see that?" he says through the bathroom door. I sink down against the door sitting on the floor leaning my head against the door. I hear his footsteps walk upstairs and I let out a sigh._

The kettle hissing brings me out of my thoughts and I pour myself a cup of tea. I sit on the couch pulling my knees to my chest holding my cup in both hands warming them. Wishing my memories would fade away so I wouldn't be haunted by my past.

I set my tea on the coffee table and pick up the flyer I found at school yesterday. I'm not sure why I took it off the bulletin board. They have a 3 bedroom apartment in the Pike Place Market district It's closer to school and the rent is pretty cheap. I didn't really want a roommate but, this sounds like a good deal. I think I am going to check this out; it may be good for me to finally be around some people. I have been living here for like a month and I must admit even I am getting lonely.

* * *

**Wanted Roommate**

Looking for new roommate, rent is low. 3 bedroom 2 bath apartment looking over Pike Place Market. I am a journalist and I work Monday-Friday from 9-5. The apartment is already furnished and it's spacious. Please call anytime after 5 to set up a meeting. The room is available immediately.


	4. New Life, New Roommate

Chapter 4 – New Life, New Roommate

Ana's POV

It's the weekend so I called about the apartment and set up a meeting at a café nearby. I think this roommate thing might be good for me. I don't have any friends in Seattle yet; I don't really like getting close to people. It's something that I have had a problem with since the accident. If I don't get close to anyone then I can't get hurt. I don't want to live my entire life like that though. I want to move on in some way or another. I still have a problem with transportation so; I want to work on my social life.

The only people I talk to are over Skype and living a couple hundred miles away. It's just Alex and his friends, the only people I have left. They are all really great guys and they were there for Alex when he needed them. All of them were supposed to travel but, they had to go on without him. When I turned 18 and moved out, his friends moved into the house with him. It was convenient for the guys to move into the house otherwise we would have had to sell it. Brandon and John are game designers whilst Alex has been focusing on writing.

It's our childhood house so neither of us wanted to permanently part with it. I try to send him about a hundred dollars every month to help with bills. It's the least I could do for him and I know he needs it more than I do. I have been doing really well for myself here and he needs the money more than I do.

I walk to the café because it's only about two blocks away. When I get there I decide on a tea while I wait. I am a little early and there aren't a lot of people so I find a table near the window to people watch. I put my tea bag in the water and almost immediately pull it out.

I remember I learned to drink tea from my dad and this was the only way I would drink it. It would always be Twining's and even though my mother thought we were both crazy for hating coffee this was our thing. Whenever I have tea it reminds me of my dad and I don't mind those memories. The only memory I don't like to think about is the fact that they are gone.

I think anyone who went through something as traumatic as that would want to forget about it. I try not to think about it but sometimes I can't help it. I try to focus on the good times we shared though. We did have a lot of good memories together. Now I think it's time to make some new ones here for myself. This is my home now and I want to make as many memories as I can. I don't want his chance of starting over to be affected by my past.

I am startled from my thoughts by someone talking to me "You must be Ana" she says. I look up at a girl who looks like supermodel in front of me. I stand and shake her hand "Yes, your Kate?" we sit down at the table and she takes a sip of the coffee she has in her hand. "Yeah, it's nice to meet you" I smile and she continues "So, what do you do?" "I'm a studying fashion design at the art institute and I have a part time job." "Oh, you might know my mom then. She teaches there." I try to think about which teacher is her mom and she explains "Kavanagh" I smile "Yes, I have some of my designs in her store. She is an amazing mentor." She smiles "You must be good. She doesn't sell many students designs."

We continue talking about everything and anything. She tells me she has a part time job at a newspaper and is also a student at U-dub. She is apparently a part of a lot school activities so she isn't home too much during the week. On the weekend however she spends more time at home. The only reason she is looking for a roommate is because she doesn't want to live alone. He parents bought it for her and it's too big for one person so that's why the rent is also so cheap. She comes from money so she isn't really worried about that.

She does tell me she has a brother Ethan who is a student at WSUV and comes to visits once in awhile. I don't tell her about Alex or my parents, it isn't something I bring up to strangers. I don't want anyone's pity or anyone saying that they are sorry. If I do become closer to her I might tell her but, I haven't really met anyone who asked. Everyone back home knew about it and I didn't know anybody here. I think I could become friend with her though she seems nice. The only girl friend I have had are the girls I use to party with. I didn't really keep those people around after I got my life back on track. All the other girl friends I have had I pushed away after the accident.

She tells me that she has a good feeling about me and thinks we could become friends. She decides that she wants me to move and tells me I should look at the apartment. I accept and she tells me to come by later to come take a look. We part ways and I head back to my apartment to work on some school work for a bit.

I'm happy that I finally found someone I can be friends with. I can finally hang out with someone who isn't on the other side of a screen. All I have been doing lately is school and work. Plus, Alex has been busy working on a book and Brandon and John are working on some zombie game. They have been sending me their work though to check it out. Alex has sent me the first couple of chapters of his book to read and I couldn't put it down. I also was able to play the game that they were working on. I wasn't very good at but, I had fun. Those guys have a way to brighten up my day.

This city is still so new to me but, I'm happy here. I feel like this place is my home now. They say home is where the heart is. I think part of my heart still lies in Sedona but part of it is with me here. So, I guess I have two homes now. I'm at a place in my life where I am starting to move on from the past. This feels new but it feels good to let go. I think I am finally ready to let go, it's time to get on with my life.


	5. Meet Mr Grey

Chapter 5 – Meet Mr. Grey

Ana's POV

I have been living with Kate for a couple of weeks and we are already best friends. She still doesn't know anything about my parents or brother, it hasn't really come up. I haven't really ever had to tell anyone about it before. It's new to me and I don't want to bring it up until she does. I don't want her to feel sorry for me or anything. I'm sure it will come up sooner or later so I don't see a need to bring it up out of the blue.

I have been taking care of my brother more recently. I am finally financially secure so, I have been sending him more money. He is working really hard on his new book and I want to help him. I feel as though I owe him and I don't mind taking care of him for a change. I like taking care of him, he is the only the only thing I have left. I am happy to have Kate now though. It's nice to have someone who I know is there for me.

School has also been going really good to. I have been able to get a lot of extra credits, with all the extra work I am doing for the school. I should be able to graduate early at this rate. The school has given me so many opportunities I know I made the right choose. With all the extra work I have been doing I was able to get a tablet to work on designs. I use to use a simple sketch pad or use the tablets from school but, I'm glad I have my own now. I was able to get Skype on it so it's a lot easier to chat with Alex and them.

I have really enjoyed living here and I am glad to have a friend here to. After living two year with no one but Alex and his friends it's very refreshing having Kate. She truly is something else and I haven't met anyone like her. She is 21 though so, she does have that party girl in her. I don't really mind but, that isn't really for me anymore… I don't even drink anymore. With my medication and the bad memories it brings up I have stayed away from alcohol since my bad phase. Kate has asked me if I wanted a glass of wine sometimes even though I'm underage. I politely refuse and she doesn't really think anything of it. It's not a good idea with the anti-depressants and I don't really want to bring up the drinking thing.

I am finally happy with my life and I couldn't be better. I know Alex has noticed the slight change in my attitude. He said he is happy to see me living my life instead of living in the past. That was kind of a hard subject for us to talk about. We never really talk about what happened that night. I don't really want to do that, I'm just not ready to relive that. I also know that Alex remembers more of that night than I do.

* * *

I wake up from the same nightmare I have had almost every night for the past two years. They have gotten better though, I use to wake up screaming. There are certain ones that are worse than others though. The first couple months after the accident I relived it in a nightmare and then woke up to Alex shaking me awake pulling me out of it. I haven't had one like that since my overdose. Now instead of waking up screaming I wake up sweating trying to catch my breath.

I crawl out of bed still drowsy from my restless sleep and head to the kitchen to make some tea. I stop in my tracks to the Kitchen when I see Kate sitting on the couch blowing her nose. I walk into the living room to see what's going on with her. "You alright?" I ask and she looks up at me with a pink nose and a pleading face "Oh my god Ana!" she exclaims "Will you please do me a really big favor?" she asks and I wonder what has Kate looking this way "Sure, what is it?" "Someone gave me the flu and I had this Interveiw for the student newspaper today. It took me forever to get it and no one on the paper is available. I will never be able to reschedule and this is really important to me. Can you go and do the interview for me? Please Ana. Please."

Kate has never asked me for a favor and I can tell she is desperate. She has also done so much for me and I want to repay her in some way. I reluctantly say yes and she thanks me profusely. I am not really the interview type so I am kind of nervous. She gives me a list of questions and tape recorder telling me the questions will see me through. I know nothing about this guy and I have no info on this guy.

I make her a can of soup and get ready for this interview that is in a couple of hours. I would make her homemade soup but, I have to get ready and I don't really have time. I do my usual morning routine and try to look presentable for this thing. I put on a little mascara witch I don't normally do, I'm not really a makeup person. I style my hair in a simple messy bun to keep it out of my face. Searching in my closet for something business like that I can wear. I find a simple black sheath dress that I designed and pair it with a belt. I don't bother with jewelry, I usually only wear my necklace anyway and I don't see any reason to.

I walk out of my room and ask Kate to borrow some shoes from her. She says its fine so I go into her closet and grab out some matching black pumps. I grab my purse and the list of questions and I go check on Kate before leaving. I walk in the living room to find her in the same place as I left her. "I know you don't like driving but, you should take my car." I don't really know where I am going and I don't want to be late so I acquiesce. He hands me her keys and the tape recorder and I am on my way out the door.

I hop into Kate sporty Mercedes and head off into the direction of Mr. Grey's office. I find myself pulling up to a huge office building. I hop out of the car and walk into the very clinical building. Walking up to the huge round reception desk I am greeted by an immaculate blonde. "I'm here to see Mr. Grey. Anastasia Steele for Katherine Kavanagh." I say trying not to be intimated. After a minute of searching her computer she has me sign in handing me a visitor pass and giving me directions to the elevators.

I go up to the twentieth floor and find myself in a similar lobby with another blonde. She points to a seated area of white leather chairs asking me to wait. The floor to ceiling windows have me mesmerized by the views of Seattle. I start to fidget in my seat suddenly overwhelmed and nervous to meet this man. I know nothing about him and I don't ever do anything like this.

Yet another blonde enters from a door on the other side of the foyer. _What is up with all these blondes? _I think to myself. She asks me if I want anything to drink and I politely refuse, she walk over to a large desk and they both continue working. The office door opens and an attractive African- American man walk out. He turns and asks "Golf, this week, Grey." I don't hear the reply. He turns, sees me, and smiles, his dark eyes crinkling at the corners. The first blonde I encountered jumps from her desk to call the elevator, she seems more nervous than me. "Good afternoon ladies" he says when he leaves through the sliding door.

The second blonde tells me to go through and I stand gathering my purse and go to the partially open door. "You don't need to knock – just go in." She smiles kindly. I push open the door and stumble through, tripping over my own feet, and falling head first into the office. I am on my hands and knees in the doorway to Mr. Grey's office, and gentle hands are around me helping me to stand. I am so em barrassed and I have to steel myself to glance up. Holy shit, this guy is hot and nothing like I expected.

"Miss Kavanagh." He extends a long-fingered hand to me once I'm upright. "I'm Christian Grey. Are you all right? Would you like to sit?" So young – and attractive, very attractive. He's tall, dressed in a fine gray suit, white shirt, and black tie with unruly dark copper colored hair and intense, bright gray eyes that regard me shrewdly. It takes a moment for me to find my voice. "Um. Actually–" I mutter. In a daze, I place my hand in his and we shake. As our fingers touch, I feel an odd exhilarating shiver run through me. Must be static. I blink rapidly, my eyelids matching my heart rate.

"Miss Kavanagh is indisposed, so she sent me. I hope you don't mind, Mr. Grey."

"And you are?" His voice is warm, possibly amused, but it's difficult to tell from his impassive expression. He looks mildly interested, but above all, polite. "Anastasia Steele."

"Would you like to sit?" He waves me toward a white leather buttoned L-shaped couch. His office is way too big for just one man. In front of the floor-to-ceiling windows, there's a huge modern dark-wood desk that six people could comfortably eat around. It matches the coffee table by the couch. Everything else is white – ceiling, floors, and walls except, on the wall by the door, where a mosaic of small paintings hang, thirty-six of them arranged in a square. They are exquisite – a series of mundane, forgotten objects painted in such precise detail they look like photographs. Displayed together, they are breathtaking.

"A local artist. Trouton," says Grey when he catches my gaze. "They're lovely. Raising the ordinary to extraordinary," I murmur, distracted both by him and the paintings. He cocks his head to one side and regards me intently. "I couldn't agree more, Miss Steele," he replies, his voice soft and for some inexpli cable reason I find myself blushing.

Apart from the paintings, the rest of the office is cold, clean, and clinical. I wonder if it reflects the personality of the Adonis who sinks gracefully into one of the white leather chairs opposite me. I shake my head, disturbed at the direction of my thoughts, and retrieve Kate's questions from my purse. Next, I set up the recorder and am all fingers and thumbs, dropping it on the coffee table in front of me. When I pluck up the courage to look at him, he's watching me, one hand relaxed in his lap and the other cupping his chin and trailing his long index finger across his lips. I think he's trying to suppress a smile.

"Sorry," I stutter. "I'm not used to this."

"Take all the time you need, Miss Steele," he says.

"Do you mind if I record your answers?"

"After you've taken so much trouble to set up the recorder – you ask me now?"

I flush. He's teasing me? I hope. I blink at him, unsure what to say, and I think he takes pity on me because he relents. "No, I don't mind."

"Good," I swallow nervously. Pressing the start button on the recorder, I try to look professional. "You're very young to have amassed such an empire. To what do you owe your suc cess?" I glance up at him. His smile is rueful, but he looks vaguely disappointed. "Business is all about people, Miss Steele, and I'm very good at judging people. I know how they tick, what makes them flourish, what doesn't, what inspires them, and how to incentivize them. I employ an exceptional team, and I reward them well." He pauses and fixes me with his gray stare. "My belief is to achieve success in any scheme one has to make oneself master of that scheme, know it inside and out, know every detail. I work hard, very hard to do that. I make decisions based on logic and facts. I have a natural gut instinct that can spot and nurture a good solid idea and good people. The bottom line is, it's always down to good people."

"Maybe you're just lucky." This isn't on Kate's list – but he's so arrogant. His eyes flare momentarily in surprise. "I don't subscribe to luck or chance, Miss Steele. The harder I work the more luck I seem to have. It really is all about having the right people on your team and directing their energies accordingly. I think it was Harvey Firestone who said 'the growth and develop ment of people is the highest calling of leadership."

"You sound like a control freak." The words are out of my mouth before I can stop them. "Oh, I exercise control in all things, Miss Steele," he says without a trace of humor in his smile. "Besides, immense power is acquired by assuring yourself in your secret reveries that you were born to control things," he continues, his voice soft. "Do you feel that you have immense power?" _Control Freak._

"I employ over forty thousand people, Miss Steele. That gives me a certain sense of responsibility – power, if you will. If I were to decide I was no longer interested in the telecommunications business and sell up, twenty thousand people would struggle to make their mortgage payments after a month or so."

My mouth drops open. I am staggered by his lack of humility.

"Don't you have a board to answer to?" I ask, disgusted. "I own my company. I don't have to answer to a board." He raises an eyebrow at me. I flush. Of course, I would know this if I had done some research. But holy crap, he's so arrogant. I change tack.

"And do you have any interests outside your work?"

"I have varied interests, Miss Steele." A ghost of a smile touches his lips.

"Very varied." And for some reason, I'm confounded and heated by his steady gaze. His eyes are alight with some wicked thought. "But if you work so hard, what do you do to chill out?" "Chill out?" He smiles, revealing perfect white teeth. I stop breathing. He really is beautiful. No one should be this good-looking. "Well, to 'chill out' as you put it – I sail, I fly, I indulge in various physical pursuits." He shifts in his chair. "I'm a very wealthy man, Miss Steele, and I have expensive and absorbing hobbies."

I glance quickly at Kate's questions, wanting to get off this subject. "You invest in manufacturing. Why, specifically?" I ask. Why does he make me so uncomfortable? "I like to build things. I like to know how things work: what makes things tick, how to construct and deconstruct. And I have a love of ships. What can I say?" "That sounds like your heart talking rather than logic and facts." His mouth quirks up, and he stares appraisingly at me.

"Possibly. Though there are people who'd say I don't have a heart."

"Why would they say that?"

"Because they know me well." His lip curls in a wry smile.

"Would your friends say you're easy to get to know?" And I regret the question as soon as I say it. It's not on Kate's list. "I'm a very private person, Miss Steele. I go a long way to protect my privacy. I don't often give interviews," he trails off. "Why did you agree to do this one?"

"Because I'm a benefactor of the University, and for all intents and purposes, I couldn't get Miss Kavanagh off my back. She badgered and badgered my PR people, and I admire that kind of tenacity."

"You also invest in farming technologies. Why are you interested in this area?"

"We can't eat money, Miss Steele, and there are too many people on this planet who don't have enough to eat."

"That sounds very philanthropic. Is it something you feel passionately about? Feeding the world's poor?" He shrugs, very non-committal. "It's shrewd business," he murmurs, though I think he's being disingenuous. It doesn't make sense – feeding the world's poor? I can't see the financial benefits of this, only the virtue of the ideal. I glance at the next question, confused by his attitude.

"Do you have a philosophy? If so, what is it?"

"I don't have a philosophy as such. Maybe a guiding principle – Carnegie's: 'A man who acquires the ability to take full possession of his own mind may take possession of anything else to which he is justly entitled.' I'm very singular, driven. I like control – of myself and those around me."

"So you want to possess things?" _You are a control freak._

"I want to deserve to possess them, but yes, bottom line, I do."

"You sound like the ultimate consumer."

"I am." He smiles, but the smile doesn't touch his eyes. Again this is at odds with someone who wants to feed the world, so I can't help thinking that we're talking about something else, but I'm absolutely mystified as to what it is. I swallow hard. The tempera ture in the room is rising or maybe it's just me. I just want this interview to be over. Surely Kate has enough material now? I glance at the next question.

"You were adopted. How far do you think that's shaped the way you are?" Oh, this is personal. I stare at him, hoping he's not offended. His brow furrows.

"I have no way of knowing."

My interest is piqued.

"How old were you when you were adopted?"

"That's a matter of public record, Miss Steele." His tone is stern. I flush, again. _Crap. _Yes of course – if I'd known I was doing this interview, I would have done some research. I move on quickly.

"You've had to sacrifice a family life for your work." "That's not a question." He's terse. "Sorry." I squirm, and he's made me feel like an errant child. I try again. "Have you had to sacrifice a family life for your work?" "I have a family. I have a brother and a sister and two loving parents. I'm not interested in extending my family beyond that."

"Are you gay, Mr. Grey?" He inhales sharply, and I cringe, mortified. Crap. Why didn't I employ some kind of filter before I read this straight out? How can I tell him I'm just reading the questions? Damn Kate and her curiosity! "No Anastasia, I'm not." He raises his eyebrows, a cool gleam in his eyes. He does not look pleased. "I apologize. It's um… written here." It's the first time he's said my name. My heartbeat has accelerated, and my cheeks are heating up again.

He cocks his head to one side. "These aren't your own questions?" The blood drains from my head. _Oh no. _"Err… no. Kate – Miss Kavanagh – she compiled the questions." "Are you colleagues on the student paper?" _Oh crap. _I have nothing to do with the student paper; I don't even go to U-Dub.

"No. She's my roommate." He rubs his chin in quiet deliberation, his gray eyes appraising me. "Did you volunteer to do this interview?" he asks, his voice deadly quiet. Hang on, who's supposed to be interviewing whom? His eyes burn into me, and I'm compelled to answer with the truth. "I was drafted. She's not well." My voice is weak and apologetic. "That explains a great deal."

There's a knock at the door, and Blonde Number Two enters. "Mr. Grey, forgive me for interrupting, but your next meeting is in two minutes." "We're not finished here, Andrea. Please cancel my next meeting." She hesitates, gaping at him. She's appears lost. He turns his head slowly to face her and raises his eyebrows. She flushes bright pink. _Oh good. It's not just me._ "Very well, Mr. Grey," she mutters, then exits. He frowns, and turns his attention back to me.

"Where were we, Miss Steele?" _Oh, we're back to 'Miss Steele' now. _"Please don't let me keep you from anything." He places his elbows on the arms of the chair and steeples his fingers in front of his mouth. His mouth is very… distracting. I swallow. "Would you like me to show you around?" he asks out of nowhere.

"I'm sure you're far too busy, Mr. Grey."

"Did you get everything you need?"

"Yes sir," I reply, packing the recorder into my satchel. His eyes narrow, speculatively.

"Thank you for the interview, Mr. Grey."

"The pleasure's been all mine," he says, polite as ever. As I rise, he stands and holds out his hand. "Until we meet again, Miss Steele." And it sounds like a challenge, or a threat, I'm not sure which. I frown. When will we ever meet again? I shake his hand once more, astounded that that odd current between us is still there. It must be my nerves.

"Mr. Grey." I nod at him. Moving with lithe athletic grace to the door, he opens it wide. "Just ensuring you make it through the door, Miss Steele." He gives me a small smile. Obviously, he's referring to my earlier less-than-elegant entry into his office. I flush.

"That's very considerate, Mr. Grey," I snap, and his smile widens. _I'm glad you find me entertaining, _I glower inwardly, walking into the foyer. I'm surprised when he follows me out. Andrea and the other blonde look up surprised.

His long index finger presses the button summoning the elevator, and we stand waiting – awkwardly on my part, coolly self-possessed on his. The doors open, and I hurry in desperate to escape. _I really need to get out of here. _When I turn to look at him, he's leaning against the doorway beside the elevator with one hand on the wall. He really is very, very good-looking. It's distracting. His burning gray eyes gaze at me.

"Anastasia," he says as a farewell.

"Christian," I reply. And mercifully, the doors close.

* * *

**Authors Note:** Sorry to steal so much of the interview from the book. I couldn't really come up with anything different so, I just changed some things to make it fit. The next chapter should be more interesting, after all they do have to meet again.


	6. Secret's Revealed

Chapter 6 – Secret's Revealed

Ana's POV

I am startled awake from dreaming of gray eyes. I usually awaken after a nightmare but this was no nightmare. I look over at the clock and see its 3am Why am I still dreaming of this man? It has been a week since the interview and he still haunts my dreams. They are better than the nightmares but I don't understand why I am even thinking about this man.

I acted so stupid in the interview and Kate's questions didn't help any. _Are you gay Mr. Grey?_ If I wasn't asking stupid questions I was blushing. He was like Adonis and I was mesmerized. I'm never even going to see the man again.

I get out of bed and go over to my keyboard; I usually end up playing when I can't sleep. I know if I fall back to sleep I am going to dream of those eyes. It has happened every night for the past week. I find myself playing a melody that I know well. I remember playing this before I tried to commit suicide. I felt like my life was over and I had nothing to live for. I realize that my life has changed so much and it gives me comfort now. Soon after I start I hear my voice singing the lyrics.

I open my eyes  
I try to see but I'm blinded by the white light  
I can't remember how  
I can't remember why  
I'm lyin' here tonight  
And I can't stand the pain  
And I can't make it go away  
No I can't stand the pain

How could this happen to me?  
I've made my mistakes  
got nowhere to run  
the night goes on  
as I'm fadin' away  
I'm sick of this life  
I just wanna scream  
How could this happen to me?

Everybody's screamin'  
I try to make a sound but no one hears me  
I'm slippin' off the edge  
I'm hangin' by a thread  
I wanna start this over again

So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered  
And I can't explain what happened  
And I can't erase the things that I've done  
No I can't

How could this happen to me?  
I've made my mistakes  
got nowhere to run  
the night goes on  
As I'm fadin' away  
I'm sick of this life  
I just wanna scream  
How could this happen to me?

I've made my mistakes  
got nowhere to run  
the night goes on  
as I'm fading away  
I'm sick of this life  
I just wanna scream  
How could this happen to me?

One my fingers hear the last few keys I am suddenly aware of Kate standing in my doorway. "Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you." I say turning on the bench "That's a depressing song" she says sincerely sitting on my bed. I don't say anything I just look at her impassively. "Want to talk about it?" she asks. I think for a moment about what to say "It was a long time ago…" I say trying to think about how to word this properly. "It's kind of a long story…" I finally say.

"I have time; I don't have to leave for school till 9. You have 6 hours to tell me your story." she sighs "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to, Ill understand." I sit cross legged on the stool looking at her and start my story.

"I was sixteen and I got in a car crash. My parents died before they made it to the hospital. I was having a hard time dealing with the loss of my parents… I started drinking. The drinking made me feel less empty so I would drink more. When the drinking no longer helped, I went to drugs. I got high almost every day and it worked for a little while. After the high was the crash, I hit rock bottom. I tried to end my life."

"Ana, I'm so sorry." She says and I sigh "Don't be, I don't want that. It was a long time ago and I'm better now." "This explains so much" she says and continues "The reason why you don't like cars or drinking." I sigh "After the crash being in a car has been difficult. It just brings back old memories and I don't feel safe. If I'm driving it makes it a little better but, I still can't wear a seatbelt."

She hugs me and tells me if I ever need to talk that she is here for me. I smile and thank her, I am happy to have someone other than Alex. She has become like a sister to me and I am thankful to have her. I never thought I would have anyone like Kate in my life.

After telling my story to Kate she head back into her room around 4 to go back to sleep. I am still not tired and I don't feel like going back to bed. I grab my laptop and go to my bed to look over my emails. I find a couple from school and some junk mail. I look at one that Alex must have recently sent.

**To: Anastasia Steele**

**From: Alex Steele**

**Subject: Sorry**

**Annie, I know I haven't answered any of your calls recently. I wanted to tell you I'm sorry for not responding. I have been really focused on this book. I have talked to the guys and we all want you to come visit soon. We miss you and haven't seen you since you left. They also wanted to thank you for paying rent. You must be doing well there and I couldn't be happier for you. Think about a visit soon? You could use a break for working too hard.**

**Sincerely,**

**Your Stupid Sorry Big Brother**

I smile at his email; I haven't talked to him all week. I tried sending dozens of emails and he never responded. I type him back an email knowing he probably won't respond considering the time.

**To: Alex Steele**

**From: Anastasia Steele**

**Subject: Apology Accepted**

**You know I couldn't stay mad at you. This one better be a hit for all this work going into it. Tell the guys that I will try to visit soon; It might have to wait till summer. I love Seattle and I wish you could see it. I am so happy and it feels like home. I obviously haven't been working as hard as you though. Try to answer me once in a while, I miss you.**

**Love,**

**You're Finally Grown Up Sister**

I shut down my laptop and lay on my bed getting lost in my thoughts. I start to think about how much my life has changed. I haven't been this happy since the accident and I don't want it to end. I think my parents would be proud if they saw me now.


	7. Till We Meet Again

Chapter 7 – Till We Meet Again

Ana's POV

After my revelation to Kate and hearing from Alex I still can't fall asleep. I decide to go for a run to clear my head. I throw on a pair of black yoga pants and a pullover I bought from school. It's a simple grey pullover with the abbreviation AIOS written on it with Art Institute of Seattle written below. I put my hair in a ponytail and throw on my trainers. Grabbing my armband and IPod I decided it best to leave a note for Kate in case she wakes up.

_Kate,_

_Thought I wouldn't let you know I went for a run. I should be back soon. XOXO_

Leaving the note on the breakfast bar I head out the door. I get outside and start running towards the Elliot Bay trail. I have music blaring in my ears and I am getting lost in my thought. It doesn't take long to reach the rail.

I am jogging along the trail thinking of the mysterious Christian Grey again when I turn my head towards the water to get a quick look at the stunning view. I see a ferry boat in the distance and wonder why I keep thinking of this man. I turn my head to look forward only to run into something hard.

I fall backwards, my head knocking on the grass and my ass on the pavement. My ear buds fall out on impact and my eyes close in pain. After a couple minutes I am being shaken awake by familiar hands and my eyes dart open. I see those grey eyes that have haunted my dream and I am shocked to silence. "Are you alright" he asks with a worried and concerned look on his face. He is still leaning over me staring into my eyes when I finally find words "I'm fine" I say unconvincingly, my head hurts like a son of a bitch.

"Are you sure" he asks and I arise into a sitting position still holding my head. Before I can speak I am interrupted my head phones on the ground music still playing.

_I know your type_

_Boy you're dangerous_

_And you're that guy_

_I'd be stupid to trust_

_But just one night couldn't be so wrong_

_You make me wanna lose control_

_She was so shy_

_'Til I drove her wild_

_I make them good girls go bad_

I am able to turn my IPod off before the incriminating lyrics continue. Could this get anymore embarrassing? "I'm sorry" I say turning towards him I see him smirking I blush and continue "I wasn't looking where I was going…" I say lamely. "It's fine, I should have been paying more attention to where I was going" I make my way to stand and get out of intent gaze. "Are you sure you are alright?" I give a weak smile and slight nod "I'll be fine" he is still regarding me intently when he asks

"Can I make it up to you; he'll about a cup of coffee?" Why would **he **want to have coffee with **me**?

"Um, you don't have to do that. No permanent damage"

"I insist" he says and I reluctantly reply

"Sure"

He says he knows a café nearby and grabs my hand helping me up. I take his hand and to my surprise he doesn't let go. We walk hand in hand and I am enjoying the feeling of his skin on mine.

**Christian's POV**

I have been thinking about this girl since she left my office. I tried to blow it off again by another run today. She has been haunting my dreams and I was thinking about her blue eyes when she ran into me. Maybe I could ask her to be my new submissive, she may be too innocent though. She looks about 20; she has on an AIOS sweater, my guess is that she studies there.

I can't have this girl as a submissive; maybe I could just have sex with her. A good fuck with a couple of toys maybe then I could get her out of my head. I could take her out to dinner or something and get into her panties. _What kind of gentleman does that, Grey? _Who am I kidding, I am not gentleman.

I pick her up of the ground and start walking towards the café. I am holding her hand I can feel that electricity between us again. I need to ask this girl out to dinner, I need to see her again. I can't deny how much I want this girl right now.

We walk the 2 blocks in silence and I lead her into the small café. I ask her if she wants a coffee or something to eat. She asks for tea with the bag out and Twining's if they have it. I tell her to find a table for us while I order for us. I order her the tea she asked for and get myself a coffee. I head back to the table and am looking into those blue eyes yet again.

I need to start a conversation with this girl before I ask her out again. This is my first time doing anything like this. I don't ask girls out and I don't have to ask them stupid questions. "So, where are you from Miss. Steele?" I mentally kick myself for not doing a background check on this girl. Then again, I didn't expect to have coffee with this girl.

She looks at me curiously before answering the question, no doubt pondering my sudden curiosity. "A small town in Arizona." She replies simply not giving much away.

"Oh, how did you end up in Seattle?"

"I have always had an interest in fashion and I was offered a full scholarship to the art institute here. It was a great opportunity and I couldn't be more pleased with my decision."

Miss. Steele the fashion designer, how appropriate. That dress she wore to the interview was exquisite; I wanted to rip it off her right there. I have never lacked this much control with a girl before. I want her like I have never wanted a girl before. I don't know what it is about her but, I feel different with her. I don't even know how to explain it but, I am going to figure this out.

**Ana's POV**

I am sitting here having coffee with Adonis himself and he is asking me questions about my life. I never expected anything like this when I went to interview him. Who the hell would have thought I would run into him again.

I'm not really sure what to say right now I already know a little bit about him from the interview. I could ask him about his family but then that would probably lead to questions about mine. I don't want to really share that information with a stranger. Plus, whenever you say something about someone who is dead they say "I'm sorry" or "Sorry for your loss".

I HATED the funeral for my parents, everyone in town showed up. I had to hear "I'm sorry for your loss". I defiantly didn't want to say thank you to these fuckers. What can I say? I was mourning and I didn't want to hear any of it. I didn't want to be at my parent's funeral at sixteen years old.

I find myself playing with my necklace and getting lost in my thoughts. When I finally get out of my thoughts I see Adonis staring at me. "Are you alright?" he asks "I'm fine sorry, I kind of got lost in my thoughts there..." I say lamely "I was asking if you would like to have dinner with me." Shit, what the fuck am I supposed to say? Before I can respond he adds "We could have dinner at my place tonight around 7ish if you're free" Dinner at his place, this is starting to sound better.

Will he still want me if he finds out I'm a virgin. I have done a lot of stupid things but, I haven't had sex. It's not like I'm a prude or anything just haven't found anyone I wanted to lose my virginity to. I wouldn't mind finally losing it though, I am 18 and it's a little embarrassing.

"Sure, dinner sounds great" I say and he grins then stands without a word. I watch as he walks over to the counter and grabs a pen laying there. What is he doing? He saunters over pen in hand and sits back down. He grabs a napkin and starts to write on it. He hands me the napkin and I read the contents.

_Escala 1920 4th Ave_

_Garage 146963 Bay 5 _

_Elevator: 1880_

**Christian's POV**

I watch as she gets lost in thought and plays with a necklace I notice she is wearing. It is the same necklace she wore to the interview. It has 3 rings on it; I notice that one is a wedding ring. Why the hell does she wear a wedding ring on a necklace? What are the other ones and why doesn't she wear then on her finger? Is she married? Obviously not or she would be wearing them on a necklace. I should have done a background check on this girl. I guess I could ask about them although here doesn't seem like the place, I'll ask her out to dinner.

"Anastasia, would you like to join me for dinner?" I ask and she doesn't answer, she really is lost in thought. Shit, I don't ask girls out for dinner and I don't like being ignored either. "Ana" I say and she seems to notice me looking at her now. "Are you alright?" I ask "I'm fine sorry, I kind of got lost in my thoughts there..." I noticed "I was asking if you would like to have dinner with me." I really don't want to ask for a third time so I add "We could have dinner at my place tonight around 7ish if you're free" "Sure, dinner sounds great" she says

I get up to grab a pen so I can wright down what she needs to access the apartment. I come back to the table and grab a napkin to wright on. I hand her the napkin and put leave the pen on the table. I dig in my pocket and find a 20 and lay it on the table. "I'll see you at 7 Anastasia." I say and leave the café.

Tonight should be fun.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Sorry for any mistakes I was typing fast to get this done before I had to go to class. I should be updating some of my stories soon, sorry for the wait. I've had a little problem with my ADD that kept me from writing. Thanks for reading, tell me what you think. :)

**P.S.** I created a Pintrest page for this story and the link in on my profile. Enjoy


End file.
